lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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