remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
