Whod you bang
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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