What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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