I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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