people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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