i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize