I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dick very happy bro
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
