what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
