planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
