I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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