Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
