I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize