he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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