They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
