Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Randomize