That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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