brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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