Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize