just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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