I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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