I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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