Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
