You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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