Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
