another moral hangover. fuck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im holly from the hills drunk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
