There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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