She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
