I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
