Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Small penises have feelings too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He better not be in your backpack
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
