what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
