Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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