I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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