Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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