I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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