who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
