can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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