I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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