We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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