if you like me you must not know who I am
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
