I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
