I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
