Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
