Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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