yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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