OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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