ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
