You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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