I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize