yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
