it was like his penis was on wheels.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
