i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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