He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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