You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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