I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
