if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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