Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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