Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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