Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
