is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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