the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize