Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
