My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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