His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
