I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
