Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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