She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
