so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
