Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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